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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27186682">on the willows, there</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/svitzian/pseuds/svitzian'>svitzian</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson &amp; Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood Loss, Captivity, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Human Experimentation, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Hurt/Comfort, Master &amp; Padawan Relationship(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Protective Qui-Gon Jinn, Whumptober 2020, but mostly hurt :), really they're both hurt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 03:43:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,605</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27186682</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/svitzian/pseuds/svitzian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Qui-Gon tries his best to protect and comfort Obi-Wan while both are in the custody of Jenna Zan Arbor.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Qui-Gon Jinn &amp; Obi-Wan Kenobi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>160</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>on the willows, there</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello :^) this started out a long long time ago for day 10 of whumptober (blood loss), and i just now got around to finishing it up! based off of the arc in the jedi apprentice novels where qui-gon is held captive + pretty much drained of his blood by jenna zan arbor, only i threw obi-wan in there too, just for funsies &lt;3 hope u enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Obi-Wan has never been so pale. The optimistic part of Qui-Gon’s mind wants to believe that at least part of that is due to the lighting in this Force-forsaken cell, the one flickering, fluorescent bulb casting a sickly glow against his apprentice’s flesh—but the time for such empty reassurances has passed, and Qui-Gon knows the truth. He cannot deny it anymore, not when it’s staring him in the face.</p><p> </p><p>His padawan is so pale, so without his usual vitality, that if it were not for the trembling of his hands, were it not for his blinking eyes adjusting to the light, were it not for the few shaking steps forward he managed, Qui-Gon likely would’ve thought him a corpse. But no, Obi-Wan is here—<em>Obi-Wan is alive</em>—and as long as that statement remains true, Qui-Gon is determined to push through the sluggishness of his own body, to protect this boy, his apprentice, as best as he can.</p><p> </p><p>(Not that it had helped just hours ago, a bitter voice in the back of Qui-Gon’s mind reminds him, when that damned Nil had come and <em>taken</em> Obi-Wan from him, when no amount of determination, no amount of fighting, had been able to stop him from dragging his padawan back to <em>her,</em> back to that twisted woman, with her needles and her syringes—)</p><p> </p><p><em>Keep your focus in the present moment,</em> another voice reminds him, a voice which sounds suspiciously like his own<em>,</em> like the voice he’s used countless times when instructing Obi-Wan in the ways of the Force—and Qui-Gon is glad for the reminder, moving forward with his arms outstretched the moment he sees that <em>kriffing</em> Nil shove Obi-Wan forward, the moment his apprentice, unable to even lift his hands in time to break his fall, plummets towards the floor—and, <em>thank the Force,</em> is met with Qui-Gon’s arms instead.</p><p> </p><p>“Padawan,” Qui-Gon breathes out, only distantly recognizing the sound of their cell door closing as the Nil steps back out into the hall. He’s stopped focusing on such silly details, hasn’t spared much thought to the temptation of another escape attempt, not after last time, after what had happened…</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan doesn’t move. He’s entirely still, not reacting whatsoever to his master’s murmur, and Qui-Gon swallows hard, pushing his fear down, down, <em>down.</em></p><p> </p><p>“You’re here now,” he whispers, attempting to be soothing. It’s impossible to tell whether or not the attempt works, whether he actually consoles Obi-Wan in the slightest. Even after a year with the boy at his side, a year of being his master, Qui-Gon still finds himself rather unsure of whether he’s doing <em>anything</em> right—but he tries, and he will try even harder now, because Obi-Wan deserves nothing less.</p><p> </p><p>He takes a deep breath, and then reaches for his padawan’s shoulders, his upper arms, slowly turning the boy so that he’s lying on his back, his head resting in Qui-Gon’s lap. From this angle, he looks so <em>small</em>, and Qui-Gon forces himself to take a steadying breath, because what he wouldn’t give to be able to touch the Force right now, just the briefest touch, just enough for some <em>slight</em> reassurance—</p><p> </p><p>But to do that would be to concede every effort he’s made since he’s been here, every effort <em>Obi-Wan</em> has made. To do that would play directly into Zan Arbor’s hands, and though he is tested… Qui-Gon knows that is something he cannot do. Not with what is at stake.</p><p> </p><p>Even so, he <em>is</em> tempted, just at the sight of his padawan, small and pale and unmoving—but he does not concede, does not dip into the Force, instead reaching out to gently brush his hand alongside his padawan’s braid, the other reaching for one of his hands and finding it cold, and immediately, a flare of anger rushes up inside of him.</p><p> </p><p>Qui-Gon is no fool. The human body has its limits, and Zan Arbor is pushing his padawan’s, <em>intentionally,</em> with no regard for how the boy suffers, how he ends up shaking through the night. This is the third day in a row she’s taken him, the third day in a row she’s drawn more and more of his blood for her <em>damned</em> experiment, leaving his body no time to recover. Another few days like this—</p><p> </p><p><em>Another few days like this,</em> and his padawan will not survive.</p><p> </p><p>Just like that, the anger in Qui-Gon’s heart hardens into a terrifyingly cold fear, and he takes Obi-Wan’s hands into both of his own, pressing them together and bringing them to his lips, pressing a careful kiss to his skin before he begins the methodical process of breathing into them, hoping the warmth of his breath will replace the frigidness of Obi-Wan’s skin.</p><p> </p><p>The movement stirs Obi-Wan. His eyes blink open again, unfocused, yet he settles his gaze onto Qui-Gon, and looks so terribly young, trying to put on a brave face although Qui-Gon can see the fear there.</p><p> </p><p>“Cold,” he whispers.</p><p> </p><p>Qui-Gon’s heart <em>aches.</em> “I know,” he soothes, and holds the boy’s hands a bit tighter. “I will warm you.”</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan watches him for one more moment, something indecipherable in his gaze, before he seems to accept this as fact. His eyes flutter shut again. Qui-Gon feels a flicker of desperation.</p><p> </p><p>“Obi-Wan.” Eyes remain closed. “Padawan. Stay with me.” Still nothing, and Qui-Gon swallows. “That’s an order.”</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan, ever mindful in his desire to be the perfect padawan, cannot refuse an order. Though he grimaces slightly, he blinks his eyes open again, and Qui-Gon exhales slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“There you are,” he whispers, mostly to himself, rubbing his hands over Obi-Wan’s. They still feel too damned cold. Qui-Gon looks down again, swallowing hard. “How is that?”</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan doesn’t register what he’s talking about for a moment. Confusion shines in the blurriness of his eyes, but then Qui-Gon’s question finally settles, and he manages a smile that looks positively pitiful, one that doesn’t come <em>close</em> to reaching his eyes. He lies through his teeth. “Better. Thank—” His breath hitches. “… thank you, Master.”</p><p> </p><p>It’s a lie. Obi-Wan is a dutiful padawan, yes, and normally, he would never lie—unless it were to reassure his master, of course, and their year together, however short it now seems, has enlightened Qui-Gon enough to know that now is one of those instances in which Obi-Wan puts his master’s feelings before total honesty.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t call his padawan out on it. There is no need, because as well as he knows Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan knows <em>him, </em>and Obi-Wan knows that he will never believe a lie such as that. But sometimes, it’s easier to pretend, and so he allows it, instead swallowing and preparing himself to move on.</p><p> </p><p>“How much?” At this point, that’s all that needs to be said. Qui-Gon isn’t sure just how long they’ve been here—it feels like weeks, though the days bleed together sometimes—but there’s no need for the full question.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How much did she take?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Obi-Wan swallows visibly. “The same,” he says softly, almost too softly to be heard, and closes his eyes. Qui-Gon lets him. “She… it was the same as yesterday, I think.”</p><p> </p><p><em>The same as yesterday.</em> That means it’s the same as the day before that, as well. Again, that chill settles over Qui-Gon. <em>Another few days like this…</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>He does not speak, but when he looks down, Obi-Wan’s eyes are open again, looking up at him intently, like he’s searching for something there.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t do it.”</p><p> </p><p>Even now, as weak as the boy is, there’s a hint of pride in those words—and though his eyes are suddenly damp, though the Code warns against such emotion, Qui-Gon allows himself to take in a bit of that pride, a small smile growing on his lips. Their resistance is all that they have, and even if Qui-Gon fears that it may give out soon… he knows what it means to his padawan, and he lets them both cherish another small victory.</p><p> </p><p>“I never had any doubts,” he replies warmly, slowly lowering Obi-Wan’s hands back to rest on his chest, reaching to give his braid a playful tug. Not once since their capture had Obi-Wan given into Zan Arbor’s demands, not once had he tapped into the Force, not once had he given her <em>anything</em> of substance to use in this sick, <em>twisted</em> experiment. Fourteen years old, and yet he has far more strength, more absolute fortitude than Qui-Gon could have imagined even Master Yoda to possess.</p><p> </p><p>He could not be prouder.</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan smiles back at him, and this time, there is a trickle of emotion that shines in his eyes, one that Qui-Gon has seen far too rarely in their time together—only on those occasions where he has praised Obi-Wan for a particularly good performance of his katas, or when he had congratulated him on a perfect score on his Galactic History II midterms, or, that night that now seems like a thousand nights ago, when he’d taken his padawan to Dex’s for a night away from the Temple, away from training, when he’d gotten to see Obi-Wan not just as his devoted padawan, but as the spirited boy that he was.</p><p> </p><p>If—<em>when</em>—they are out of this cell, he will make more of an effort to earn that smile. He will be kinder. He will be less guarded. He will be more open with his affections. He will let this boy, his padawan, brave and talented and trustworthy, take a piece of his heart, <em>without</em> thinking of the boy who came before and did just that, only to repudiate it. He will treat Obi-Wan as he should have all along. He will <em>tell</em> Obi-Wan how proud he is, and he will make sure that he is never left without that knowledge again.</p><p> </p><p><em>When we’re out,</em> he promises himself. He closes his eyes, and his head swims—a reminder that for all he seeks to protect his padawan, he himself is still weak. <em>No matter,</em> he thinks, taking a deep breath to steady himself before opening his eyes again. Now more than ever, Obi-Wan needs him to be strong.</p><p> </p><p>When he looks down, Obi-Wan is still gazing up at him, his smile having fallen away some. Qui-Gon can see the hints of despair working their way in.</p><p> </p><p>“Want to stay here with you,” he mumbles, pressing his lips together. It’s an uncharacteristic admission—and another sign, Qui-Gon worries, that Obi-Wan really is getting too weak too quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“No, you don’t,” Qui-Gon says, surprised to find that rather than the humorously casual tone he’d attempted, his voice comes out quiet as a whisper. “It would bore you, Padawan. You never enjoyed meditation <em>that</em> much.” That is what he does these days—meditation, albeit without the Force, both because it is the only way to keep himself from growing sick with worry over Obi-Wan, out in the laboratory at Zan Arbor’s mercy, and because he is so weak that meditation is often the only thing he <em>can</em> do.</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan offers a tired, lopsided smile. “Won’t complain,” he promises weakly. Qui-Gon forces a breath, his padawan’s barely concealed desperation twisting his heart.</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Qui-Gon whispers, and reaches again for Obi-Wan’s braid, holding it gently. The ache in his chest twists again, then sharpens into something harder—<em>determination,</em> he likes to think, and it makes his voice thick as he speaks again, meeting Obi-Wan’s gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t let her take you tomorrow.” It’s an empty promise, and both of them know it. Qui-Gon, just like his padawan, has lost too much blood. He’s had no more of a chance to recover, either, for his body to naturally compensate for all that’s been taken from him. He is weak, and he is in no condition to fight—and Jenna Zan Arbor does not accept negotiations. She will take which one of them she likes—perhaps both, as she has a few times now—and neither of them will be able to do anything to stop it.</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan looks so sad. He, it seems, isn’t as naïve as Qui-Gon would hope, and he weakly manages to shake his head, likely to insist that Qui-Gon <em>not</em> attempt such a thing, that he’ll be okay, really, that it’s better if his master preserves his strength—but just as soon as he moves, he’s grimacing, freezing in place.<br/>
<br/>
“Don’t move,” Qui-Gon urges, and presses a hand against his head, gently brushing through his padawan’s close-cropped hair. “The dizziness will pass.” Recently, it seemed to last longer and longer, spurred on by even the slightest movements—but Obi-Wan needed reassurance right now, and Qui-Gon was determined to provide it, even if his apprentice pressed his lips together, stubborn as ever.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t fight.” Obi-Wan’s words are a whispered plea, quiet and a bit pained from the dizziness that he’s still fighting his way through, if the furrow of his brow is any indication. “It… won’t <em>help</em> anything. Only hurt you.”</p><p> </p><p>Qui-Gon manages a weak, pained smile. If he blinks a few times, composing himself before he speaks, it is nobody’s business but his own. “We shall see.” There—his voice is the practiced calm he’s used on Obi-Wan so many times, often to his padawan’s frustration. It’s so familiar that his heart aches and lifts all at once. “But I will not just let her take you, Padawan. And <em>you</em> cannot oppose me on that.” He feels desperate, the last bits of his control, his composure, slipping through his fingers—but he can hold on a little longer, at least until Obi-Wan is asleep, and again, he tries to strengthen his smile. “Remember, young padawan,” he whispers, a teasing, almost conspiratorial lilt to his voice, “the master always knows best.”</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan is too weak to give anything but a small huff of breath at that, one that suffices, just barely, for the smallest of chuckles. Even so, a tear slips from his eye, and Qui-Gon reaches to wipe it away with his thumb.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t let her take you,” he whispers again, even when Obi-Wan closes his eyes again, when he sees the telltale signs of exhaustion beginning to take over the boy’s expression. He cannot stay awake forever, though Qui-Gon might prefer it that way—but they are both too weak to put off rest for so long, and Qui-Gon sighs slowly, trying to accept this fact.</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan takes the sigh, it seems—as he does many things, <em>too many</em> things—as a sign of disapproval, and his eyes blink open again, wide and apologetic even in his tiredness. Qui-Gon shakes his head, even though it sets his head spinning again, and gently brushes his braid back behind his ear.</p><p> </p><p>“Rest.” He may not like it, but it’s what his padawan needs if he is to get back any of his strength. “I will be right here, Obi-Wan.” And, unspoken—<em>I will protect you.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Obi-Wan watches Qui-Gon for one more moment, his gaze guarded and gentle, before he gives the faintest nod and closes his eyes again. Qui-Gon doesn’t speak, but keeps his hand pressed gently against the side of his padawan’s head long after his breathing has gone even. And once it has…</p><p> </p><p>Once it has, Qui-Gon lets his own breathing even out as well, though the ache in his chest doesn’t lessen even then. It will not lessen, not until they are out of this hellhole, until Obi-Wan is himself again, <em>fully</em> himself, healthy and well and alive—but until then, Qui-Gon simply closes his eyes, preparing himself for when the door opens once more, for when he will fight for his padawan once again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank u for reading!!!!!<br/>if you liked, please consider leaving a kudos or a comment, it will make me very happy &lt;3<br/>once again, thanks for reading!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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